Aaron's Journal

aznsky @ 2009-08-12T14:40:00

2005-05-12T21:39:59Z

Iv seen enough action movies for ones lifetime. As I said before, I knew people like you would not agree. But the fight you put up is questionable. The monsters in AITD look nothing like Fox's Alien creatures, if you actually saw the movie you might have noticed that. Besides, I am in no means saying its a great film. Its just a good waste of time to see stuff get shot and blow up.

Thats one problem I have with many people on these boards. No one seems to go to a movie just to enjoy them anymore. Its all about criticizing(< spelled wrong probably) films. But then its all about taste. I enjoyed movies like AVP, Hitchikers Guide and Hulk, while many said they were crap. And yet I absolutely hated movies like Boondock Saints, Garden State, and Vera Drake, which many of the same people hailed as masterpieces.
______________________________________________________

the monsters in Alone in the Dark almost look exactly like the ones in Aliens Even a blind person can realize that.

A good waste of time? you don't know what is a good waste of time and Saying that Alone in the Dark has good action scene is a Disgrace to all Action fans out there.
You know nothing about Action movies.

FUCK YOU YAMMI

2004-12-26T10:34:33Z

Fireyh0pe: hi
Souless Addict: hi.
Fireyh0pe: merry belated christmas
Souless Addict: merry xmas.
Fireyh0pe: did u get anything cool for christmas?
Souless Addict: maybe
Fireyh0pe: do u use Xanga?
Souless Addict: no
Fireyh0pe: how is your christmas vacation so far?
Souless Addict: crap.
Fireyh0pe: whats wrong?
Souless Addict: none of your business.
Fireyh0pe: you wouldn't say crap if it was none of my business
Souless Addict: sure i would.
Fireyh0pe: then why did you tell me it was crap in the 1st place
Souless Addict: because u asked.
Fireyh0pe: i asked because i was concerned
Souless Addict: no u asked me how my vacation was.
Souless Addict: so i answered.
Fireyh0pe: but i also asked you whats wrong
Souless Addict: and i answered.
Fireyh0pe: you didn't answer my question
Souless Addict: yes i did
Fireyh0pe: saying none of your buisness does not answer the question of why i asked you how come your vacation is crap
Souless Addict: yea it does.
Souless Addict: you didn't specify the what i had to answer with.
Fireyh0pe: it doesn't answer what is wrong with you write now
Souless Addict: so i answered with a none of your business, because it is none of your business, even if i said my vacation was crap.
Souless Addict: it's none of your business.
Fireyh0pe: saying none of your buisness doesn't answer anything
Souless Addict: yes it does.
Fireyh0pe: and none of your buisness is not an answer to what i'm asking u
Souless Addict: yes it is
Fireyh0pe: no it isn't
Souless Addict: can't u tell i don't want to talk?
Fireyh0pe: yet your talking to me
Fireyh0pe: yammi i'm sorry
Souless Addict: ?
Fireyh0pe: everything is my fault i'
Fireyh0pe: i'm sorry about what i did to you to make you angry
Fireyh0pe: i'm sorry i flirt with your friends
Fireyh0pe: I'm sorry i ever made you mad when i knew at those times you were right
Fireyh0pe: i'm sorry i became over obsessive with you
Souless Addict: ?
Fireyh0pe: i'm sorry i got you in trouble when calling you
Fireyh0pe: i'm sorry i called you so late at those times
Fireyh0pe: i'm sorry that you had a phone bill
Fireyh0pe: large phone bill* and your mom got mad at you for that
Fireyh0pe: i'm sorry i flirted with Lain when i was Flirting with you
Souless Addict: ?
Fireyh0pe: i'm sorry that i was trying to hit on you both that day
Fireyh0pe: i'm sorry i kissed you when you had a BF
Fireyh0pe: i'm sorry
Souless Addict: ?
Fireyh0pe: i'm sorry i did all those things
Fireyh0pe: i'm sorry
Souless Addict: ?
Fireyh0pe: i'm sorry yAmmi
Souless Addict: ??]
Fireyh0pe: ?
Souless Addict: *doesn't understand what you're talking about*
Fireyh0pe: why do you keep on question marking me?
Souless Addict: *points to above*
Fireyh0pe: Don't you remember
Fireyh0pe: when i kissed you
Fireyh0pe: you told your boyfriend
Fireyh0pe: i'm sorry about that
Fireyh0pe: don't you remember
Souless Addict: okay.
Fireyh0pe: when i was fliriting with lain i'm sorry about that
Souless Addict: ?
Fireyh0pe: don't
Fireyh0pe: don't u remember
Fireyh0pe: don't you remember?
Fireyh0pe: i'm sorry
Fireyh0pe: i'm sorry about all the awful things i have done to you
Previous message was not received by Souless Addict because of error: Your buddy cannot receive messages as quickly as you are sending them. Please allow more time between sending each message.

Fireyh0pe: i'm sorry about all the awful things i have done to you
Previous message was not received by Souless Addict because of error: Your buddy cannot receive messages as quickly as you are sending them. Please allow more time between sending each message.

Fireyh0pe: i'm sorry about all the awful things i have done to you
Souless Addict: ??
Souless Addict: what are u talking about?
Fireyh0pe: i'm sorry about all the idiocy i put you through
Fireyh0pe: When i got you mad remember?
Souless Addict: oh.
Fireyh0pe: all those times
Fireyh0pe: when you got mad at me about psycoe joe
Fireyh0pe: when you got mad at me because
Fireyh0pe: of some celtic discussion we were having
Fireyh0pe: i'm sorry i got you mad at those times
Souless Addict: nyao.
Fireyh0pe: i'm sorry i ever hurt your feelings
Fireyh0pe: i'm sorry about that time i scared you when you told me to do that poll thing about how i felt about u
Souless Addict: meow.
Fireyh0pe: i'm sorry about the time when i flirted with your friends and i got mad at you
Fireyh0pe: i'm sorry i left that one day without saying goodbye
Fireyh0pe: i'm sorry
Souless Addict: nyao.
Fireyh0pe: can you forgive me?
Souless Addict: no.
__________________________________________________________

Then you know what.

FUCK YOU YAMMI
Fuck You and your friends
Condem them all to hell
Fuck your mom
Fuck your Dad
I'm sorry i ever met you that one day
I'm sorry i ever cared about you
I'm sorry I SAT with you
i'm SORRY i KISSED you EVEN WHEN YOU LET ME WHEN I ASKED YOU BITCH
i'm Sorry YOU are bitter because your just so fucking Jealous of me when i flirt with your friends
FUCK you YAMMI
FUCK YOU and GO TO HELL
Eat ShiT!

I hope you and BY we are mortal enemies from now on!
Your a STUCK UP BITCH with no real Friends!
FUCK YOU!
I can't beleive i even tried being friends with you again!
DIE AND GO TO HELL!

I'm sick of YOU trying to control my life
I'LL FUCKING FLIRT WITH WHOEVER I WANT BITCH
I'm Sick of how your friends react to me because you said SHIT BEHIND MY BACK!
I hate you

ANd BTW YOU WERE THE ONE WHO SAID YES TO THE KISS!
YOU WERE THE ONE WHO SAID YES TO IT
YOU WERE THE ONE WHO TOOK ME OUT INTO YOUR HOUSE AND IGNORED ME
YOU WERE THE ONE WHO SPREADS RUMORS ABOUT YOU
I'M SORRY I EVER SAID NICE THINGS ABOUT YOU
I'M SORRY I TRIED TO EVER BECOME FRIENDS WITH YOU EVER AGAIN
I'M SORRY I EVEN LOVED YOU ONCE, YOU WERE THE ONE WHO STABBED ME IN THE BACK AND TOLD YOUR BF WHEN YOU SAID I KISSED YOU
WELL IT DOESN'T MATTER ANYMORE BECAUSE YOU WENT THROUGH HOW MANY GF'S AND BF'S NOW YOU INSENSITIVE PRICK!
ALSO BTW I SHOULD OF LISTENED TO LEA WHEN SHE TOLD ME YOUR PROBLEMS WERE ALL LIES BUT NO! I KEPT ON ASKING HER AND BOTHERING HER ABOUT YOU.
WELL LEA BE HAPPY BECAUSE I'M NOT GOING TO TALK ABOUT YAMMI EVER AGAIN

to jenna

2004-08-06T07:08:49Z

jenna
there is nothing that can show how much you care about me
i really thankyou for that
i know nothing that would be able to repay you for what i have done
but to say thankyou
i miss seeing you
being next to you
grabbing your hand like a little hamster
i smiled all night that day
thinking about you and talking to you side by side
right now
i'm petophiling my chair all alone
unknowingly what you'll think about the poem
i hope we can be together again talking to each other and have a copied version of the day we met but with a more perfect enviroment with surronding visuals from earthly nature and twinkling stars
i'm sick of all the lies other people threw in my face like a ball hit from a mighty swing from a baseball
i cried at night hating and loving the people i do not like on and on
i ran away to the night all by myself wishing you were here by me sitting down on a stone hard building with a beautifull fountain lying next to it.
i thought the myself not knowing what to do but to talk to you.

thankyou for inspiring me to write this poem
and thankyou for caring and talking to me
and all i can hope for is seeing you again
for i miss you jenna

of course

2004-08-01T11:23:24Z

riding with you
talking and riding
maybe walking by the sea
i don't care
i miss you
i'll hold your hands if you ask
that is a future accomplished task
i swear to you from afar
the wonders i want to see i'll bring you with
i'll never let go
if your hands touch mines
my weakness is you
the dream of tomorrow and today
heh
thats nice
sitting down looking at you peering at your eyes when writing
soothing my soul and my comforted emotion
just breathe
there is nothing better to want your love
i'm a cliched poetry writer making his task of asking you out
one day is what i ask
to share and talk
my emotions ambitions and love
the repetitiveness of this poem is everbeing
for my mind flows of repetioning your face and beauty
i look up upon your chin
with perfect lighting your beauty shines throughout your body =)
yes a dream.

i miss you

2004-07-29T10:47:56Z

i dreams of me and you
together
seeing trees and birds together
forever lost in the deep long forgotten images i render in my head
the forest wind flowing into our body tingling the bones with an essence of calmness
we both flee together
to nowhere
in the woods
city's
up in the tall high sky
with my arm silking your warm body waiting and talking for the moment to talk and preach about the only one
the only you for me but in a dream

alda.

2004-07-28T10:11:51Z

thankyou alda for being my friend.
Thankyou alda for caring about me
the forgotten feeling of care and joy
have now been unforgotten and cared for
thankyou alda for talking to me
thankyou alda for not calling me names
i hope your name would be in the hall of fames
for you are alda the one and only
a great friend and a loving and caring person
thankyou alda for being to kind not just to me
but to everyone.

heh

2004-07-25T01:43:09Z

the girl at the piano

2004-07-23T11:04:24Z

you the one...
i care about right now.
if i could
i would change
my slow brain unreceived your sorrow from the lack of silence in my bed
i remember that once day
i walked around
looking and looking my eyes peered to you with a feeling...
a rainy feeling of unblessed torture
a tragic feeling watering down your vains

the girl sitting at the piano
crying...
wondering, looking at her sorrowfull face
she started playing a sorrowfull tune
one hand underlying her side
the other playing
i realized...
something was wrong
without any word i should of known
suddenly it came to me...
i wanted to do more then to be sorrowfull over something i can not give
so i left
scared
wondering
what i could of done.. that day...
so i thought and thought
and thought
of a way..
but there was none so i dreamt until this day

If i was there
i would care
say something for you to bear
Whispering in your ear
the only thing i could ever share
my heart
my care
my wish for you to bear
for you to hear

bubble-chan my heart aches for you.

2004-07-17T14:47:37Z

the lonelyness fills up within my heart
my heart fills with empty jars of blood
i sat down alone in the darkness looking at the lights
imaganing what life would of been like...
if i was with you.
lying with you
next with you
with my face parraleling to yours on the bed
i stare into your beautiful eyes and make another dream in a dream
my happyness is overwhelming
with thoughts of a figment of imaginations i cry for
figments of things that would of of happened only if i was with you
the one admiring you
comforting your very soul body and mind
looking at myself and thinking how lucky i am too even got to here..
but only if i was there
the only risks of traveling
meeting someone you can not take
love and care the one with fate
sometimes i feel like a fish ready to take a bait
not knowing what your getting yourself into
now knowing the future you say mindless things
you care for her pamper the one you love and try your hardest to get what you can get
then there gone like the cliched saying of a wind
i try to realize you are happy within yourself with your other...
but then i imagine if i was your other
your other caring soul
the one
for you to take you by your hands and talk to you
maybe even possibly marrying you
if i was with you
my heart would be pure
not even the death rays of pure smoke can smog it nor the pills of great wonder could take over anymore.

but...
i'll always remember this one vivid exaggerated dream of a real moment in life
my head lying next to yours with smiles in both of our faces laughing and giggling with the the nicknames we both gave like beautiful pure beautiful sun lying in the thin windy lukewarm air..... i whisper in my dreams in dreams to say bubble-chain i love you.
My heart aches for you...

so now... i'm gone with the wind wandering and trying to forget you
i go a forbidden zone.. a forbidden area a place where i can be happy nor sad or relaxation of comfort and discomfort.
a place which i call a unforgiving chore to releive myself of all this...

Yesterday...and other days

2004-06-23T12:34:24Z

well it was my b-day yesterday.
i was hanging out with these following people who were not busy (ThankGod)
Trina
Philip
Erwin
and Trina's cuz Everete? Evette?
heh (bad memory)
well anyways
i was so happy Trinah gave me a bottle of Hypnotiqs the 1st b-day gift i had ever had from a friend.
In a weird sensical way i have always loved her... (what do i know about love anyways?... i don't know but askyourself the same question if you know what true love is) i just feel that it's never going to work out because
1. She Loves Alan
2. She is a cute godess who are not dorks like me

not saying that her friends are not nice nor are they trouble makers they are....... well honestly i do not know i just sometimes feel very uncomfortable with them because i guess i can't really talk about anything with them because some of them are in Gang's or know people in gang's which scares me a bit and they are ghetto which is a bit weird but i eventually got used to it. It was funny though i never ever felt weirded out by Trinah's Ghettoness but it's probably because i knew her in my past which brings me to another thing that i was about to ask her out but then will asked her out b4 i did which i found out recently that didn't matter because she only went out with will for 1 week and if i ever did go out with her that day i might of never been friends with her again.
All my ex's or basically 1/all of them never became friends with me because i was either just too pissed and or not over them but in this case i know trinah better which i'm thankfull for in a way
sometimes i think that friendship is more important then going out with somebody which i'm strongly beleiving in again because what i have been doing lately
1. trying to get girls too fast
2. therefore scaring the shit out of them
3. them ignoring and or not like to talk to me
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Lain
jasmine
and yammie

i don't know what i think about u 3 anymore nor do i really care maybe excluding lain because you talked to me in fanime cared about me but you never talk to me about anything and what we maybe just go out once in what 2 months... but no your busy i understand at least i'll try nor do u like talking on the phone with me.... but no it gives you a headache......
Jasmine same with you.
You always say things to me so i don't know what the fuck your doing by saying I'll go out with you next week (CANCELLED) x10000000 times... okay i exxagerated but only once out of those times u went out with me...
maybe it's something i did but if it is tell me right now and i'll just leave you alone.

yammie you are cool... when u want to be
i really want to like you but i just sense that you do not care anymore and thankyou for lying to lain about a certain thing you probably told everybody else so i don't give a crap anymore about that nor should i but do
which is making me pissed off
i hate you, but i also like you...maybe because 50% of the time i see you or talk to you
your nice and i always am shocked when you are

almost everybody that seems like a fucking friend to me fuck you.
Escpecially YOU LILIAN!
You were the one that said Oh I'll be coming to your party.
I receive no phone call of why YOU ARE NOT COMING.
Not once voice message text message maybe just one damn courtesy call.
and i called you about 5 times today didn't leave a voice message cause i was dissapointed at you.

You may say that i'm being harsh and just not understanding which you may be right. But you don't understand all these times were people say there going to do something mostly going to places etc... and all getting cancelled.

but in all these times i'm glad i have people who care. God cares... No Not the god up there the god meaning Anthony

and escpecially Trina, Susan, Philip, Erwin, Erin, (Tidus) Chris.

They all atleast had the Decency to say hey HI Aaron Happy b-day or Hey aaron Happy B-day sorry i couldn't come to your b-day party.
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

in the world
life is so depressing.
sometimes neither feeling loved or cared
i try to hold it all in
maybe i just care about people too much
i wish i wasn't who i am sometimes so i would still be with a special someone
where i could just live peacefully next to you.
with a all go happy dream with us getting married just me and you...
something weird out of a Love Hina sometimes.
i would say this is for so and so...
but sometimes it wouldn't matter because i love most of you...
at least that is what i feel right now
the day after my birthday
my 1st day as an adult
the 1st day getting a job
the 1st for being grown up
no more thinking
just doing and beleiving in what you do...

iono

2004-06-11T09:19:55Z

I don't know anymore.
What am i good at i don't know.
I hear pieces so beautiful even the gods shed tears for them.
is there really a point in life where you can do something that no one else can????
i don't even know anymore....
i use to be happy as a kid.
Smiling Cheering never having a bad day.
All those happy things as a childhood never realizing anything but always to cheerfull and so free.
I rather be a child my whole life..
as a child i can Frolic
dance
act cute.....
understanding to a certain extent of what being a child is...

but then...
i listen to the eternity of memories and lightwaves and think if i would ever enjoy things like Sophisticated Music filled with art and beauty or Movies that scare childs in there dreams...
Possibly even sex..
but to undergo these dramatic changes oneself must grow...

blah i'm not making sense anymore.
>.

...

2004-04-18T08:53:20Z

Thankyou tran!
I love you =) as a friend of course.
You have helped me try and quit smoking so far i have not smoked anything even when chris gave me a cigg.

I have to quit
I started puking out blood on friday before i watched Kill Bill vol2 with my friends.
so anybody seeing it smoke flick it away ASAP away from my hand cause i really have to this time.
I'm worried about my body.
Puking out blood........gosh i really don't want to die young this is pure shit..
i'm going to die so young........*sigh*

Eva i also want to say thankyou and i miss you.
Thankyou for helping me quit smoking too
and thankyou for talking to me.
I haven't forgotten about you.
That day mer's b-day heh =)
i still remember you
don't worry Eva i'll never forget about you.

Well these past few weeeks i have been playing this game caleld King's Field it is a FP-RPG.

to me FPS-RPG and FP-RPG's are different.
how?

in FPS-RPG's Like Deus Ex it MATTERS where you shoot or hit etc....
but in FP-RPG's it does not matter which part of the body you hit it will always do the same damage no matter what.

Yammie and Lain i also want to say to you thankyou for helping me quit smoking and can you please encourage me more to?
Lain i'm sorry for being the way that i was that day i really really....blah nvm why am i even talking about this anyways.

Psycoe-Joe i'm sorry about that day i shouted at you in the movies when watching Kill Bill.
I don't know why i go Psycoe too sometimes.
Another reason is that i earned so much respect from you was because you took care of yammie and being like her big brother to her.

i'm going to stop writing poetry now i suck at it anyways soo heh!

I should also really practice my piano more but....i'm stuck playing King's Field.
The teacher was going to kick me out because i haven't played.
But iono after practicing one day which i usually don't do i'm okay the next day on my piano lessons.
I sometimes think to myself.
What am i really good at?

Everybody tells me I'm good at playing the piano... But really come on?
Me Aaron? good at piano? lol...
i guess i'm just ignorant like that huh?

right now i'm at Vince house listening to the tale of 2 sisters movie soundtrack on the official website.

It really is great.

so comfortable soothing. *sigh*
makes me wanna go to the beach with...
lying down on the beach looking at the stars talking about random thoughts that come to mind.

sometimes i feel like an ass to my friends i never know if there mad at me or something.....
my friends tell me when is what but the other says there wrong.
I get so confused sometimes i don't know who to listen to.

i love the beach only when it's warm or hot.
just like billy bob thortan said "If one day Cigg's become healthy for you, I'll smoke everyday like no tommorrow."
Well he didn't say it in those exact words but yah..

when i grow up i want to be a director or musician....
i don't know...

Life is confusing >.

Asia RuleZ

2004-04-07T07:25:10Z

Many country's towns and places
Asia
the best place ever
the voice of beauty coming from the whispering winds
the beauty, art, and perfection of the paintings mesmerizes my visions
locating and understanding
the artisticness and the wonders of the curves and lines it has
the beauty i see surpasses like no other object, place, and person
no other poetry even shakepheare himself makes can ever think of surpassing even with his artistic ways of writing
for there is no such words to explain the true beauty of Asia
what i am saying is 100000000 times greater in real life
your ocean waves sooth my inner being's
so clear
the waves are outgoing into the beach catching my attention
your fruits are as sweet as honey
so mouthwatering and heartwarming my heart goes wild
with uncontrollable feelings i have never felt
there is no other place like Asia
i want to go to you
see you again
touching my face with your wind and make me smile
speaking it with soft soft words of your mildly breezey air
just hearing your name makes my inhibitions go wild with an eternal ecstacy like feeling of comfort
The only one and Asia
i go crazy for

a night away

2004-03-12T09:48:24Z

i woke up
on a corner
with my head down
waiting for a girl..
a girl with no identity
her face filled with passion and adventure suddenly comes up out of nowhere
she picked me up
picked me up away from the darkness i was sitting in
then we ran
holding each others arms
till we came to a beautiful building in a city filled with adventuring
we went inside the building
went to the staircase
unknowingly the staircases walls and stairs were made of glass
we started walking up
looking at the beautiful places we haven't been through the clear glass
since the stairs were clear and the walls it was like we were floting in thin air

then the more we walked up the more the day became night
till it was a full night at the very top
we opened the door
felt as if the wind was comforting us with warm cool breezy air
we sat
we talked
about randomness

nobody was around to bother us
it was like a mount everst in a different point of view
then both slept
till suddenly

I woke up
on the same corner
with my head down
i cried....
realizing it was nothing
nothing but a dream......
i cry and cry till i'm asleep again

perfect weather

2004-03-09T09:26:40Z

a car
a beach
a mildly breezey weather

i walk down the beach awaiting perfect darkness
with a perfect dream
a night where i'm together with my friends
laughing about jokes from our favorite movies and shows
a night to forget about everything bothering our bones killing us brick by brick
stuck in this eternal dusk of work and society and hate
a night were pure darkness lies a darkness of smooth air and relaxation coming from the air riding the back your bone recovering your whole body and blowing away the frustration of society and hatred
the noises i receive from my friends heal me guide me and makes me put a smile on my face
the beatiful darkness guide our eyes to see the lights of night
focusing our energy to things we can not notice in the morning
for the morning blinds out mortal eyes enfeeble us from seeing the eternal beauty of the night sky and air and distract our senses of hearing the beauty of the wind calling
the ocean waving there invisble hand that can be only heard with noise
the clouds the evil ones bore me perhaps a evil enemy to me.......
for darkness became to dark
hardrain became to fall
strong wind came
Blowing our fire and love away for Blowing Softly takes away bad but Blowing too much takes away too much
then all you have left is survivability..

cruel life
it comes and goes
so does friendship

but in my dreams and hope i will dream of a day together with my friends sleeping by the beach like we own the place at night
climbing nearby trees
sharing stories of pasttimes that we locked away in our storage closet back home
where we all threw the key to our houses into the ocean
making keys to our ocean bed
enhancing pleasure with a stick of burned and with newly enhanced tobacco that doesn't kill
i can only dream.......
no... i can only hope........

aznsky @ 2004-10-17T20:37:00

2004-02-20T04:42:56Z

Your depressed....
*sigh*
i'm not sure whats wrong but i'm confused.
Cause baby i want you
just one night alone us 2
at the metreon
just wanting it peaceful and see you smile toward my face
with us holding hands side by side playing with the beautiful lighted water like a mini ocean bay
i want to be wiht yoiu through the good and bad times
*sigh*....
i miss you and want to be with you

aznsky @ 2004-10-17T02:00:00

2004-02-19T10:17:57Z

it's driving me insane
i want to be with you but.....
i just know
i can't be with you
amaze you
be the man you want
be the one...
your love for someone saddens me..
i try and try to get your attention and love but it just never seems to work
i give you my whole attention looking at your beatiful face
but all i can do now
is lye down on my bed
and think of you while sleeping
and wishing one day i would be with you at the metreon looking up at the stars at night with warm cool weather
i am out of your league
i try my best to do what you want
sometimes i fail but sometimes i feel what i do does not accomplish anything to smile you
maybe one lucky day in summer i'll be with you
sitting on the stairs near the patio at metreon late at night
whispering things in our ears, with our bodies near and our heads touching
i wish to the air
for one night
for us to be together......
just one day is all i ask
one day with her like that with me
*sigh*
so i sleep
99 world
i love you special someone
*hugz the air*
thankyou for talking me.

aznsky @ 2004-10-17T01:52:00

2004-02-19T09:58:27Z

You drive me insane
everyday my mind is away
wondering
figuring out maneavurs to be with you
how to be with you
your perfect man
your out of my league i know...
but does that really matter
can i really one day be with you
hug and kiss you like no other guy has
have intimacy with you like no other
my passion for you is growing deeper
maybe i need to stay away from you more or be with you more
i don't know anymore..

changes, levels and standards

2004-02-15T09:27:01Z

the 1st time i saw you
you were cute
a plushy animal to play with
i asked you out
but i was an hour too late
if only i have called you a bit earlier...

but times goes by
then i see you one more time
plushy you were no more
you changed......
a higher lvl then me
i want to meet your standards...
i'll try but you might laugh at me
maybe hopefully even kiss me
a kiss i wanted the 1st time i saw you
looking at your eyes brings back the memories lost in my mind of confusion
you made me smile once more =)
thankyou

opxe emina

2004-02-10T09:16:16Z

i dream of day...

lying with you near the hallways of the hotels
Relaxed
with the mildly bright lights
Looking out in the window
with you lying next to me
talking about life, our life long dreams
about the good times
about you and me
just us 2
together the light shines on our faces almost blinding us
so we close our eyes
hold hands
sleeping next to each other
waiting and waiting for night to come
we wake up
the day is calm the winds slowly blowing it's sweet air of comfort outside
holding hands....
nothing more *looks to her face and smiles*
we walked around all night
looking at each other
waiting for the sun to come
i didn't know your name
does it really matter though?
as long as i'm with you happy?
i hope so
so sweet
the perfect night, the perfect girl
was just a midsummer nights dream........
and now i have to forget
and say take the cruelty of a 3 letter word
bye..
but as long as you don't forget me
i'll still be here for you.
But for now..... we both have to say bye.......

l;hofa

2004-01-31T10:25:18Z

i'm already dead inside
i'm sick of trusting bitches
I'm sick of you
YES you
I'm fucking sick of drama
i can't get rid of you
It's my fault
fuck me fuck me fuck me fuck me fuck me fuck me fuck me fuck me
I don't care
kill me now
any of you
none of you care
i'm sick of this...
why.. why.
strip me strip me strip me anybody
i don't care
i'm dead..... a stupid boy
i'm a stupid
for not knowing
not thinking
I MISSed it
I'm sick of it
It's my fault i took drugs
I don't care
i can't think anymore
I don't want to feel this anymore
i just want ot be dead with no feelings.
A fucking robot
a fucking stone
a flower
a pot
shit on me
Piss on me
Fuck you i want to die
i'm complitating suicide
I'll fuck for money
i'll have kill for free
i'll shit on your lawn for free

i want to be dead
my thoughts are nothing but filled with hate right now
kill me now and i might have another chance in living....

thankyou

2004-01-29T06:31:57Z

thankyou
for talking to me

I was in a beautiful place
a place that people already named
but to me it will always be
peace
when i was lonely
you gave me peace
by the ocean
you talked to me
all because of a ciggarette
one puff of words came to another
Ocean Sea
clear as blue
starlights high in the sky
a smile on my face
we both talked till our hearts contented
till this day.....
i still don't know
why...
why.........
a beautiful college girl
with a sweet accent
like a baby trying to say her words
talked to me......
understood every curve i made with my tounge
we talked and talked until
she had to leave the place we talked in
near the ocean....
she needed to go back
to do what she normally does....
so i went back to where i was......
thinking about the peace i had
i still don't know why she made me feel so happy like no other girl could
and all we did was talk
but one day i'll go back to the peace
same day....
thinking about you

but i'll know you'll never be there
i can hardly remember your face, your voice
but i still remember the peace you made me felt
thankyou....

Christmas is COMING!!

2003-12-16T15:19:13Z

</td></tr>

My LiveJournal 12 Days
My True Love gave to me...
12 araiianes a-calling.
11 deepsetthinkers a-swimming.
10 fireflytrances a-hollering.
9 hiroe_chans a-dancing.
8 pheardapowahs a-breakdancing.
7 pockykens a-kicking.
6 tiduss a-sleeping.
5 red ukebondageboys.
4 smooching xsweetserenityxs.
3 Sicilian yammerss.
2 gerbil zell_dinchts.
And a zigx in a pineapple tree.
Get gifts! Username:
Another fun meme brought to you by rfreebern.

sigh

2003-12-16T12:19:45Z

Everyday things have been bugging me. I'm wondering what my friends think of me. Yes probably all of you know this already like Chris
I'm really sorry if i annoyed you or didn't pay you guys back but i have the money now.
I'm sorry if i didn't keep any promise i should of kept
and i'm probably a really bad friend to you guys or to probably everybody
i know myself i should stop thinking about girls. I'm sorry i should need to think less about them because it's friends before girls right?
_______________________________________________________
i also want to say many don't know this about me but i lived a spoiled life my parents give me everything i get mad at them for the stupidest reasons. Like they couldn't drive me to my friends house because my dad needed to work. I got mad..... i'm sorry mom and dad........i wish i can tell them but it's just that i don't want to get all mushy with them.
My aunties and uncles give me alot of money sometimes and i sometimes want them to stop because i need a damn job...
I just don't know when the right time is to find a job
my parents are always busy on the weekdays and on the weekends i want to be with my friends and relax from school..... i don't know about you but i want to look for a job with some of my friends and none of them live nearby me. I know i feel sorta greedy by saying that but i don't want any of my parents to nag or try and comfort me and give me a good name when i ask if there hiring. Cause one time i went to a place that sells tapioca and i asked them if they are hiring then my dads friend who is my sis's ex BF's mom was all like ohhhhhh your really good and experienced at working.......But really i wasn't and never had a job b4 and i'm worried if my dad was trying to give a good name for me with his friends....

Sometimes i would like to get to know you better Randee and Chris but you guys are too busy... Alot of my friends are actually non stop and you guys live hella far...........
None of you hardly ever talk to me online but then again I should be the one talking to you guys.
Sometimes i blurt out random things because i don't know what else to say and i'm trying to get to know you guys better but i don't know how.......

psyco joe i'm sorry about that day i shouted at you but i'm still mad at you..... I almost called up my friends to kick your ass. But i didn't want to for your sake and for i know your a old man without a job and your a immature brat stuck in a old mans body
Sorry if i hurt you but this is how i feel.....

If any of you want to IM me feel free to it is Fireyh0pe.

Sometimes i admit i just want attention from all of you and that is why i act crazy.
Sometimes i just get dependant on my friends because i'm feeling lonely but i know.... i shouldn't be

I'm sorry if i call some of you too much or scare you.

Chris i want to say thankyou for trying to help me out alot of the times i know you get annoyed of me by ranting the same girl problems over and over but i thankyou for putting up with me.

When i was young i had no friends with me. I was a idiot loner who was horny and didn't even know what horny was.
I just don't want to lose any of my friends anymore because i have felt i lost many at the old arcade they use to have at pier39 hanging out with my so called brother named "jay" or "javier" who got me into E and raves.

They all suddenly just dissapeard. Probably because i wasn't a good friend to any of them.
I want to say sorry to

Will
Claudia
Jay
Johnny
Reese
and to all the member of the old DDRgroup called TFX (team forever xero)
i still remember the day i met you guys. you guys called me the deadend guy.
I'm sorry if i caused you drama while i was on drugs or if anything i did.

well this is it for today. time for me to get my4hours of sleep b4 school 99 everybody =)

love.

2003-12-11T09:43:09Z

I miss it. the empty hallways... Just me and my friends going down..
making life fun
*sigh*
if there is something worse then death
it is being forgotten
i want to see my friends more and more
worrying about there perilous eyes forgetting about me
escpecially you...
i miss you dearly
but i hide it i try and find other people
so i won't think of you
the day we walked and talked and lied down with each other on the bed.
talking
nothing naughty
nothing really slow
but...
it just felt so right
you were perfect
the perfect girl
my opposite the almost complete different
nothing we do is similar
but it was funny
we didn't hate anything about each other
i just want to see the night stars with you one last time
i don't care if you lie to me
i want you to pretend for me
a gift made from your heart
just you and me
talking again
fills my heart with love and pain
if only we lived closer
but yet nobody will permit of us
maybe it's better for the both of us
fate?
Fate to meet her but not being with her
...maybe it's made by chance or luck...
or choice?